the ghost of christmas past

lonesome nights.
in the still choking air
acrid smoke in my eye
and tea on tap.
i worry about having the courage
to ask for some company.
it's only fair in this life
that i may relate as other's do.
and so i cast a spell
for 37 dollars
and wished that i may live again
with the ghost of some dear memory.
yes, i have begged of the sky
to grant me the resolution
to see fit,
that i may love as some other's do
i wished...?

...i really have no idea what i wished for.