a massage of the heart

i often wonder
about the truth of my mind
can i believe what i think?
is my perception sublime,
there's many thoughts of injustice
that creep up and worry me
my heart suffocates in a rapture of jealousy
i could swear that someone told me
when i was a young man
that our God is good - and would not harm you
but something evil waits in the streets
a tiger is loose and a dragon is sick
for the love of me is pityful
i am ashamed of my body
please don't show yours - it shows my inadequacy
hide and guard your jealousy well,
there's no better lover than me and myself
people tear at me
and humiliate my my confidence
what God would allow the abuse i conceive of?
there's stranger prose than this to explain my concern
but sometimes i believe that
something is wrong in this world.
innocence and knowledge, sex and commitment -
they can't co - exist without permanent damage
to the faith, joy and happiness of anyones' soul
it just makes it harder to understand who you are
maybe people get married to solve the frustration
of always being the damned, bloody minded wastrel
who wishes they knew better than to love
a beautiful liar,
who doesn't need you.

EcTC

blessed by a friend
who possessed the sacrament
of joyous celebration
and feverish ecstacy
joined by a common cause
and a hand of cards
two honest conversations
about the privation
of our thoughts
and a love birds' spirit
captured,
in the hollow of my heart
an epic story of faith
in a convict's
cause,
for the desperation
of his rebellion
was loves' golden promise
somewhat sweet and posey
a gentle stroke of a petal
by the fruit left hanging
too close to the honey bee
blossom on the branch
i feel the ecstacy
of coming into love
there's something giving way
i can feel my sense in motion
today is a good day.

the virgin isle

all's i wanted was a night out
i prayed and waited patiently
for a fair lady to come
but the evening was a catastrophe
i spent the evening broke
i stole some money from the monolith
the illustrious ancestors tomb
but of the worst - it did not come
i surprised myself with what i had done
my life had lined itself up - ducks in a row
with a relationship, i had always dreamed
of the Virgin Isle
i enjoyed some peace of mind
and i was entralled with joy
i could not wish for a greater reflection
other than Christ's resurrection
for my own life - a disaster
metaphorically,
i was waiting for the money to arrive
i suppose high in heaven,
or far below,
in the bowls of history
they're drinking for the good
of mankind and and their fruitful bough
within the borders of our nation
i know Christians well!

stay indoors

the view out of my window
over the black tarmac
my sights raise higher
to the smoking chimney stacks
the grey industrial wastelands
far past the motorway
the weather pours down a sheet
of cold, acid rain.
my mood is something to be behold
i often feel the sorrow of the world
and when i am here,
alone in my flat
its like i can hear the silence talk
there are personalities calling out to me
people i loved and lost
the disembodied ghosts
of a thousand greatful hosts
who entertained me for want of friends.
and though its quiet up here,
in my apartment block
the hiss of white noise
is still audible
the rain's still falling,
silently it pours
while the world quietly eats
and stays indoors.

balam's donkey

i met a young lady
and set a date
for us to be together
and by a cruel twist of fate
i was hunted down
by the authority of state
to be incarcerated
in a psychiatric ward
for the charge of rape!
now, i ain't concerned
about a date's fidelity
but i ain't no criminal
or opportunist pedophile
i am innocent,
i protested for so many years
but my cries aren't heard
by those who keep me here
one day, i plan
to bust my way out of here
and tear down the edifice
of this civilised society
this country's a beast
a worthless prick
i pray it gets what's coming to it
for blaming me for this...

bjorn again

wrong turn
wrong number
turn about face
wild crazy fantasy
i found a special place
i was greeted
at the door
by a smiling woman
who took me inside
and showed me
loving,
then i leave to return
to the home i am
fond of
that happy place
i once resided
where i was taken care of.
and when i take a look
around me
i haven't left -
but i have returned
to the heart
that did the loving
way, way back
when i was born.

yenta

i believed in God
and Christ's resurrection
i professed i did love
with sweet,
honey - suckle perfection
yet, my yenta
was a fair lady
with azure blue eyes
who took all my loving
and using a disguise
betrayed and berated me
for loving her dearly
the shame of my name
is enough to move me
to write these honest
words to you
i sometimes think
you have a secret
porn studio,
'cause a boy like me
can't travel too far
without a friend of sorts
to accompany his thoughts
only i didn't come quick
i believe you're an honest woman
i can trust your words
you're a whore
and i love it!