a massage of the heart

i often wonder
about the truth of my mind
can i believe what i think?
is my perception sublime,
there's many thoughts of injustice
that creep up and worry me
my heart suffocates in a rapture of jealousy
i could swear that someone told me
when i was a young man
that our God is good - and would not harm you
but something evil waits in the streets
a tiger is loose and a dragon is sick
for the love of me is pityful
i am ashamed of my body
please don't show yours - it shows my inadequacy
hide and guard your jealousy well,
there's no better lover than me and myself
people tear at me
and humiliate my my confidence
what God would allow the abuse i conceive of?
there's stranger prose than this to explain my concern
but sometimes i believe that
something is wrong in this world.
innocence and knowledge, sex and commitment -
they can't co - exist without permanent damage
to the faith, joy and happiness of anyones' soul
it just makes it harder to understand who you are
maybe people get married to solve the frustration
of always being the damned, bloody minded wastrel
who wishes they knew better than to love
a beautiful liar,
who doesn't need you.