stars

stars,
in the window
dazzling bright lights
between the roar of the motorway
and the place i live
with the knowledge
the Refinery is all that there is
i had the good thought
to witness this
vision of a city - scape
that would shame a metropolis
a series of smoking chimneys
mistaken for towerblocks
the illusion glimmers
like a view from above
across the town i live
the bonfires burn.

new address

hi there and welcome to Dead City Streets, a blog writing from and about the streets of Merseyside.

i have recently changed address to a new part of town, facing out across the industrial area of ellesmere port. the view from my window is reminiscent of Blade Runner and i hope that is what i am creating from my workstation, situated in my kitchen of my apartment.

newcomer's to the blog should check out the most recent entries and maybe buy my book - Dead City Streets from Amazon, (the link is available on the right hand side of the page - click the image) and then go on to have a read of the rest of the poems available on this page and the others'.

the purpose of my writing this blog is to explore my diagnosis with paranoid schizophrenia, my hallucinations, my worries, anxieties and fears - all stuff that may remind you of some difficult period of your life when you, yourself tripped out on the doubts you may have had over your earlier years of being an adult.

i dont mean to make anyone afraid or repulse some widely held opinion. i merely hope to give my opinion on topic issues such as those found in the newspapers, the web, on TV and elsewhere in the media, but all with a schizophrenic slant. satire and hypocrisy to the utmost!

but still, i hope you enjoy your stay here with some of the most crazed and contraversial witterings on the net.

this isnt in vain, i am sure to have at least one nasty incident before my creative urges send me to oblivion.

but then we wouldnt be having fun, would we?

schizoid neighbours

from raging, haunting and shameful beginnings
i listened till the tortuous, bitter end
plumbing the depths to find the firstborn.
and though i implore my certainty
i ignored the noise, distracting me from slumber
though i could not demand the resolution
that she was in fact not one of my own.
and to the one thing that plagues my conscious mind,
'Lies!' i scream,
mindful that others' are watching me
listening and repeating those cussed words
even when i dont sleep sound.
but the clairvoyant knowing,
makes my blood boil
each time
the raised voices make themselves heard.

new year blues

the darker nights are passing me by
the solitude i feel is hurting
like -
- barbed wire, cutting into the pit of my stomuch
it's been so long since i loved as i should have
sex and romance,
relationships and friends,
there's too much conflict for me to pretend
that all is well in the land of Nod.
i've too many adversaries, to go on
as i was

a few words with God

i've been betrayed by friends
i was dependant on for survival.
i've been taken for an idiot
by spiritualist mediums.
i have begged for a love
to call all my own,
only to be presented with problems
that i cannot possibly solve.
i've been lead by the nose
to desperation and breakdown.
i've been challenged on a love
where i cannot bear witness,
to it's making or passing...
and i know of no God
who can grant me my solitude
without being set upon.

swan song

an assault on my sex
i have been challenged to explain
why i made the decision
to go it alone.
well,
i am tired of false loves
and miserable thai's
based on manipulation,
cheating and lying
betrayals of such magnitude
my hope was dying.
i've been stabbed in the back
for forgiving a wrong
and screamed at to change
when i have reached my swan song.

dream of the marsh

the hill is much too steep
for me to reach the monument
of old time religion
and the 21st century spirit
an idiot must have mislead me
as i slipped on down the valley
to where my ship steams in,
at last
and i have 3 wheels on my wagon.

change has been a good thing
in my life it is the only constant
it's my spirit and my hope
& i have no other religion
and though the spirit is still within me
i find it hard to make a commitment
to anyone other than friends and family
the rest is just a source of amusement.