new year blues

the darker nights are passing me by
the solitude i feel is hurting
like -
- barbed wire, cutting into the pit of my stomuch
it's been so long since i loved as i should have
sex and romance,
relationships and friends,
there's too much conflict for me to pretend
that all is well in the land of Nod.
i've too many adversaries, to go on
as i was

a few words with God

i've been betrayed by friends
i was dependant on for survival.
i've been taken for an idiot
by spiritualist mediums.
i have begged for a love
to call all my own,
only to be presented with problems
that i cannot possibly solve.
i've been lead by the nose
to desperation and breakdown.
i've been challenged on a love
where i cannot bear witness,
to it's making or passing...
and i know of no God
who can grant me my solitude
without being set upon.

swan song

an assault on my sex
i have been challenged to explain
why i made the decision
to go it alone.
well,
i am tired of false loves
and miserable thai's
based on manipulation,
cheating and lying
betrayals of such magnitude
my hope was dying.
i've been stabbed in the back
for forgiving a wrong
and screamed at to change
when i have reached my swan song.

dream of the marsh

the hill is much too steep
for me to reach the monument
of old time religion
and the 21st century spirit
an idiot must have mislead me
as i slipped on down the valley
to where my ship steams in,
at last
and i have 3 wheels on my wagon.

change has been a good thing
in my life it is the only constant
it's my spirit and my hope
& i have no other religion
and though the spirit is still within me
i find it hard to make a commitment
to anyone other than friends and family
the rest is just a source of amusement.