confidence in faith

in the early days
of my troubled youth
i swore in love above all things
though my words were uncouth
my adolescence,
for all it was worth
was a challenging time
when we shared tough words
we argued about lies
and female drives
phantom skeletons
rattling inside
the familes' closets
eternal chains of plenty
the ghost of Hitler
visited frequently
the Holy Fathers' insistence
that we honour no others'
other than limp wristed politicians
and deadbeat Christians
drug den parties
and the rapture of all children
honouring your mother
and father, well...
committing yourself
to education
and dreaming of some
distant promise
that the day will come
when you're confident
you're a Christian

riddled with lies

a confident word of caution
is all i need from you
a promise to be kept
shun humiliation and abuse
but can i trust you?
is there some secret agenda?
does our relationship have juice
to spare for a neighbour?
the spirit is in me
to share all i have gained
to give of myself a commitment
should you defend my claim
to be the man employed
who wrote these words to you
expressing all my dearest joys
and never forsaking the Lord
there's still much to be proffered
and much more pain
the agony of suffering
the beauty of shame
i often cuss, spit and scream
i tear the walls down
hoping no one can hear me
but my words carry for miles
on the breeze of smoking chimley stacks
suffocating on the fumes
of a 60 a day habit.

when we meet

the future i would wish for
well, you know how the story goes -
i swear i need love
and to be held
by those,
who harmed me in this life
i need their forgiveness
and then i ask, please
will you offer me freedom?
i so dearly wish
to leave here someday
and to be thrown to the wind
a religious analogy
i'm a child of Christ
and a prisoner of fortune
grant me one miracle
that i will overcome
my experience
of drug, dog days
and domestic violence
unwanted children
and paedophile news stories
threats to my safety
and the selfishness of money
hostile words
of jealousy and betrayal
and pray for me
should you have a sound heart
i'll find safety in love
when i finally find her.

difficult puzzle

sweet night air
washed out highway
traffic rumbles on through
on - route,
to their destination
i sit here asking
for my friend to comfort me
he begs of my questions
while the evenings' rain
silently,
showers the car park
beneath my apartment
sometimes my loneliness
is palpable
like the quiet of the ocean
sore misery for my loss
is the gain of some other
there remains a beat of my heart
that wishes for the touch
of a lover
but few friends can help
someone stuck - as i am
the truth is the heart lost
it was not a conundrum.

the eldest daughter

beautiful blonde, smiling at me
dressed to stun the traffic
its probably her wedding day
little red starbug,
and a flowing kafthan coat
wish she was mine to have and hold
she's as dreamy as my hopes
all i could want in this life
ripped jeans,
and blue coat blouse
bright pearly whites
and laquered nails
and fluffy socks and boots
i see there's no ring on your finger
but is that a child right by your side
and expectant mother - well maybe -
and i couldn't help but smile
for the happiness inside
made me take a second look,
no, a third or fourteenth
glance,
before the thought sank in
and grew on me
and passion burnt in my hands
you look suspiciously
like my wife and bride to be
the eldest sweetheart of the family
a missed opportunity.
in the mail order catalogue
i would have thought your heart was mine
blonde flowing locks and blue eyed sky
with a child right by your side
but this beautiful blonde, smiling at me
was dressed to stun the traffic
and it was probably her wedding day...

a political engagement

great loves' of history
i understand your fancy
to be downtrodden at heart
and to believe in love's ecstasy
the chase of the romantic fool
is always in folly
not stopping to see the danger
in their love affair
with beauty
crossed wires, burdens of plenty
angry words
and the concerns of children
money, greed, betrayal, avarice
never hesitating to ask for charity
the dream they could be the
one love,
that has hidden
all their fame and fortune
when the gaolers' break
the spirit of young men
whose family have kept
them waiting
then politics will ensure
there are tough laws
to deal with such
romantic fools
and to those whose joy
have given them everything they need
we sentence them to marry -
for children.

maturity

there was some to be had
i guess it was not wasted
you visit sometimes
and check up on me
i'm not disappointed
with what i had
it was my own to grasp
and i'm glad i have
shared my thoughts with you
i was not trying to deceive
i would have begged you a favour
for a small promise
please don't harm
the sound nature of my heart
my feelings are true
and i'm honest when i rhyme
i'm not the type of lover
whose poetry is a fiction
i like reminiscing about the time
when we shared so much passion
so, my story is certain -
there's really nothing to it
i'm just a crack of the whip
and getting on with living
and next time i fancy
that i am safe
to make a great love
i will think about becoming
a parent, myself.

you love me

my thoughts are with
my friends
and the good times
we shared
passing traffic
reveals the secret
of all the lessons
i ever learned
i take too many
for granted
and dismiss the remainder
with cuss-ed words
i too soon judge
and bear financial
grudges,
when i should celebrate
all our woes.
my focus is love
and oftentime i ignore
the help they have offered
there's no question
i have -
drawn a line in the sand
and requested the spirits join me
i find comfort
when we gather together
and i know that you love me.

natalie imbruglia

grand plans
for the future
of my dreams
constant reminders
of broken promises
must i break
with my past?
and tempt my fortune
should my hope
turn to doubt
and ruin my passion?
sometimes i believe
that i deserve better -
i was born to a billionaire
not an asphalt laying shirker
but i take stock of my luck
and resolve to change
i'm reaching for ecstasy
and i'm not ashamed
there are so many more joy's
to be had in this lifetime
and i ask why i can't be
natalie imbruglia's
husband.

the truth of the matter

the heart of the matter
well, its still in my hands
i beat and smoke
dreaming of a vagabond
a perfect creature
much like yourself
a fantastic portrayal
of feminine beauty
i've heard people cuss,
complain -
and criticise
but they don't see
the spiritual truth
that everybody loves
- pornography -
images of the greatest fuck
the world could imagine
in this lifetime
i'd give all my billions
and the remaining
beats of my heart
to be the lucky guy,
who actually got it!