my peace of mind

hope is just a crystal
of sweetness, lost
to the reality of the world
where everything costs
nothing is mine
to have or to hold
all of my enemies
have a claim
to my Soul
i've never had
something of my own
i must share my heart
with those who hope
that there will come a day
when i lose my faith
in someone wanting me
and i'll have no money left
why do so many people
think of me as a fool?
is there no value
in the hearts' wishes to be removed
from a place of conflict
to a position of strength
where i know
i am needed by someone
and my joy is blessed.

failed romance #3

i was just reaching out
for some touch of grace
a chance to redeem myself
and change my fate
there's so much happening
in a world of which
i have no knowledge
people accuse and cheat
me, of every mortal
beat of my chest
i writhe in agony
because of my breathlessness
my lips carry words
i cannot heed
there is so much anger
inside of me
can i tell whom i dream of?
am i a fool for asking?
why on earth do females
mock my infatuation?
i thought we were
a couple of sorts
but again it would seem
i am just deluding myself

- for even daring to pass a glance...

vampyre love

just a gentle fall
from the roof of the mouth
my greatest happiness
is to be in flight
my intuitive radar
could sense you're doubting
if i was a real man
or a handsome stranger
i fly by night
you may hear my shrieks
throught the silent,
still air
you hide your eyes from me
and i return to the safety
and dark of my cave
remaining confident
in the knowledge
that something so strange
as your heart to beat,
in the heat of the sun
i must rest soundly
from my own ceiling
can you spare me a pulse?
in the heat of our passion
our sexual energy is writhe
and a lustful blood attraction.

the most beautiful thing

sometimes i think
i remember a time
when i was driven
into danger
by some old friends
of mine
but the stranger truth is
i was on my way home
when i encountered some trouble
with a shout -
She accused -
me of being
devoted in love
i felt i had something
to regret,
She was a perilous woman
my hearts' affliction
it had always seemed
i give the best of my heart
to the one who loves me
but my jealousy
was not for the man
who cheated me
but for my beloved heart
who's love was easy
i freely give of myself
and all i have
yet sometimes i'm afraid
i'm not your only man
and so, again - i give to you
each racing beat of my heart
with my passion i indulge you
till i hold you in my arms.

dead heart

shallow pursuits
of power and wealth
abuses of trust
and horrifying injustice
these are the values
of the modern world
cheating, lying
and bringing them down.
some people are so selfish
they don't stop to think
of the tears they cause
their loved ones to shed
i read it in the paper
every goddamned day
i witnessed it myself
in some other relationship
and yet the world continues
to spiral on down
without the heart of a good man
to catch its last sigh.

my only friend

what does my future
have for a man like me
my lifes' a confusing illusion
of cerebral challenges
but its just a double bind
of the rebellious,
amorphus mass -
of selfish, petty villians
who shake the system
and demand
'i am worthy of power!'
'there are no fears in my heart!'
well, some know better than to tell a lie,
because we have witnessed a death...
i can bury the past
upside down
in its grave to be smited
as a crying clown
i love you Jesus!
but i am too weak to pray
i am not Holy
but a chaste fidelity
i have answers and some wisdom,
confidence in faith
i cherish the love
i will always have
for my only wedded wife
but bless me Father for your sacred heart
i have but one request
please don't take another loved one from me
or i sharn't take another breath.

Legion

there was a war in Europe
and the titans clashed
a holocaust of Englishmen
met with their death
to the horror of millions
of hard working citizens
brought low by the deceit
of the executive government
some time during the offing
i was hit hard on the head
and remained in a coma
for 365 times 10
and while my wife continued
to raise our small children
i slept and dreamt of all that was happening
and then when i awoke
and regained my faculties
i took in the confusion
of this decimated society
our children are fatherless!
and not one woman has a husband!
doctors and lawyers are organised criminals!
the Lord's in their opulence
are nothing more than a committee
the Common's by contrast
are a bunch of school children
this i have witnessed
the horror of it all -
in the hour of a looking glass
and then when i turn,
to my memories of the world
that i was so keen to embrace back then
i say of our Lord -
'Das macht nichts, ich verstehe Legion?'

take me away

the love i need
should be here to stay
but there's something wrong
she's taken it away
you know my needs
i hope you feel the same
i capture your spirit
in the palm of my hand
but with each passing breath
and beat of my heart
i know you're missing
my love, sweetheart -

and maybe you're just
another hot date
with another man waiting
for your words patiently
silently i cannot help
but accuse myself
of being a foolish, wimpish, wanker
with a huge dong
and a dose of distemper
and excluding myself
i have nothing more
than some empty words
and a heart that will humour.

a loving jar - full

pickled onions
once sweet to taste
have turned bitter
and the jar
has gone to waste
love's nature, i guess
is to preserve what's good
and practise lifting the spoon
from the jar
to the mouth,
i find peace sometimes
in my solitary pursuits
literature, poetry
and eating pickled produce
and something i have always
been keen to practise
is to love your spirit
as a tasty titbit
so if your preserve
is too rotten
to be enjoyed any longer
then take faith in your heart
that there'll soon be another
but like the proverbial
pickles, rotting in the jar
or the beats of your rhyme
and rhythm of the heart
they'll only keep for so many months
before you'll be thinking of replacing
your pickled produce.

a trifling downfall ;0

eh, sorry for the zeal
i was getting high on Jesus
there's things going wrong
my mind is tortured
by a vision
i had of grievious -
harm to my waking life
i still dream of golden sunrays
blessed by the spirit
i reached for the passion
i had when i was
a young man.

and so,
i made the same mistake
i have always made
a short note to wish you well
i think my proposal was sweet
as i have these needs
and they are the chance
i have to take,
great risks to my safety
are not my thing
but i guess
love's a humbling trifle -

- it's, biscuits,
rum and jelly
cream, custard, fruit
and cherries
a dish to be devoured
as just desserts!