riddled with lies

a confident word of caution
is all i need from you
a promise to be kept
shun humiliation and abuse
but can i trust you?
is there some secret agenda?
does our relationship have juice
to spare for a neighbour?
the spirit is in me
to share all i have gained
to give of myself a commitment
should you defend my claim
to be the man employed
who wrote these words to you
expressing all my dearest joys
and never forsaking the Lord
there's still much to be proffered
and much more pain
the agony of suffering
the beauty of shame
i often cuss, spit and scream
i tear the walls down
hoping no one can hear me
but my words carry for miles
on the breeze of smoking chimley stacks
suffocating on the fumes
of a 60 a day habit.