new years blues

apologies for my mistake
i always knew this was true
i never did want to change
i always meant
to be used.
there seems nothing more fantastic
than being tossed
and bent around
i didn't know any better, honey
that's why i am a sad and lonely man.
but i'm a very happy clown sometimes
with very little to lose
well, i suppose
there's little i can do about that
i was playing by all the rules.
i didn't cheat, lie or break a promise
but i broke a heart -
in two,
we all grow older
but not much wiser
as we have all the love in the world.

The Arab Fling

back in '96
during the war in Iraq
the women of Britain
cried for their freedom
and demanded
all us men fight
but to be honest,
most of us didn't notice
there was no invasion party
annexing our towns
but to the common man
we ask,
where are our women now?
well, these patriots of the Union
they threw their faith in us away
started taking holidays
in the Muslim countries
so while they're fucking
dirty Arabs
we all went to prison
for refusing to honour
their principles
and fuck their pubescent children.

if Jesus loves pornography

Jesus loves pornography
he told me so himself
he fucks horny bitches
- nails their pussies
till they scream and shout
'oh, me so horney - fuck me honey!
screw me, cum fill my pussy!'
you'd think they'd fed their cat too much
and was due a visit to the veterinary surgeon
well, i had Faith, that's my dog -
and i waited
for the Holy ghost to cum
but - would you believe it -
my pet was a damned virgin
and she died from an anal trauma!
on the operating table they discovered
she had eaten a chicken fillet
now, if that dog had titties
then more the pity
i didn't fuck it sooner!
so now, she's buried under a peach tree
in the back garden of my mother's house
and like the talent of the 10 wise virgins
under Jesus' immaculate cloak
His penis is burgeoning like a weasel
just waiting to get out!

every woman is a cheating whore

leaving the flashlight
behind the front door
i hear voices talking
in the hall,
her 'smelly bits'
she says, 'are normal aren't they?'
well not unless you've been fucking
my neighbour bay - bee
why are these women such total fucking sluts?
its a 21st century phenomenon
that allows them 'justice'
some of us are almost old
and still dreaming of making love
matter of fact
every woman is a cheating whore
and i'm still praying for a miracle

God Waving at Me

early morning coffee
and breakfast sandwiches
peering through
the window above
looking over Stanlow
a black could gathers
and threatens
to turn the streets outside
into a torrent of rain
when a wave of the hand
in front of the hidden sunshine
casts a shadow over the window
never wondered so much
if there ever was
something such
as a God,
that knows i live
here!

God Waving at me

who'se a fretty plower then?

व्होसे अ प्रेत्टी फ्लोवेर थें 

the Locke down (a split mind)

if i were someone else
who may i be
could you split me in half
or transplant me
into another body
and i wonder if i could
if i could be two persons
in one cranium?

and if i were this other man
homo sapiens for all to see
would i still be
an immaterial substance
a soul constant,
and unchanging.
would this other self
have continuity
if he had lost his mind
what would time mean
could he be praised or blamed
for his moral responsibility
can we be certain
of his forensic identity

sex criminal

can't deny it
i'm still a virgin
and i'm fucking 3T
allah and syzengy
got nothing on me
tell the world
to go fuck itself
i got the miracle made
i only know one position
and i'm not ashamed
i sit on my arse
with a cock in my hand
you laugh at my technique
because i use my hands?
well if you prayed for sex
you'd get internet porn
and once you've fucked
the whole of cyberspace
you'd finally get the score
i can be a good boy
but only if you want me to
use my imagination
and commit a crime or two.

unusual movies

naked babes
i love it
getting gangbanged and fucked
rapture and humiliation
on the Disney channel
role reversal, gay men
sexual abuse
confusion over morals
is this real i ask?
have i cheated myself
why are such beautiful women
exposing their nudity
for want of amusement?
is the money so lucrative?
does nobody love you?
have you been infected with herpes?
is this nothing unusual?

11 years and still on the road

11 years have passed
and i have
started to believe in
all that i can't
accept or control,
will no longer decieve me.
day begin and end
as always
without purpose or confusion
i read my books,
and study as much
the reality of this illusion
called mental illness.
it's humiliating at best
but i am innocent of all charges
so i proclaim and protest
that the crime's so confusing
i am convicted of faults
that are not my own volition
if there ever were a God
i want to hear his judgement.

thinking of mother...

sadness,
and solitude
my mother is alone
i have a job
i have a home
but i have no one
i can call my own
loneliness,
and anger
i feel so much
afraid,
that the friends i have
and the love's i wished for,
have betrayed me for being...
...shamed.

take it from me

apologies aren't common
in crazy times like these
if we were on
some other planet
we could all cry
and demand promises
well, i have made some mistakes in life
and i have picked at every scar
my spirit is broken
my blood is boiling
and i feel
i have come to harm
so this is what i have to offer
from one schizoid
to another
my devoted forgiveness
and with the world as my witness
i will let you have it all.

i fear your love

you demand of me
the child you will not let go of
to enjoy the fruits
peaches and kumquat's
in a snake pit of sin
and violence
to live amongst the pity
of your husbands children
and your lovers'
solitude.
my protest,
is that you have harmed
the one and the many of my heart
and we are not to blame
for your incensed guilt;
i am not your husband,
i am not your lovers',
i am not your child,
though, i admit - back then
i  was your friend.
and when friends
become at alms with one another
my heart fails.
i cannot love you, any longer.
let me be
or let me die -
in the arms of those that always did.

espouse

porn orphan
just a young woman
trying to live life
abused at the hands
of her bullying
espouse
took a walk to the docklands
to howl at the moon
for comfort and family
had abused her too
money,
hey honey!
how much can i charge?
she took all the shit
and bears all the scars.
she once wished so fondly
for what could have been?
the truth is that the lies,
have destroyed her belief
the matters may make us
a victim of 'why?'
the only rational answer
seems suicide.

leave me my saviour

When will the times I have missed

Come to visit me in this era of listlessness and rage

I would forget another chance to make amends

Forgiven all I have lost

And lonely

For a way forward out of the dark of solitude

I remember the face

But not the love

Nonce is the name of my ego

To punish myself with its meaning

Is not to say I am evil

Just isolated from those experiences

Of the people surrounding me

And an attempt to catch up

Where art thou’

Deity I swore

Love? I don’t believe it

Should I wait a little longer?

Try harder?

Maybe lynch myself in the hall?

Take one from the street?

The pressure I am under

Makes me an evil man

For it is you I swore

No other

I shall wait eagerly for your sign

Or no more…

I am sorry my Lord

I have found your wit in envy

And apologise for my escape from the fold

I will return in haste to where sanctuary lies

To be at your call

Should you need a voice

Or a friend

Or another man to do your bidding

Thanks for the joke

It got me an accolade!

I will remember the times we spent

Forging a path for others to follow

A boy grown a man...

i have been humbled, by man.

To set the world to rights

And enfranchise the belief in a marked reality

I began a course of isolation,

And discipline through abuse of the senses

And the will of mine enemies

For the malefic renunciation of those desires

That began my surrender to the world.

‘I will not accept,’ was my plea

‘These deeds are not my own’

But no soul heard my guilt

None other than the gods that swore my sentence

Gave a thought to what I may learn

Though the counsel of elders knew my prize, desired

And given.

Love, I jest - should have known my ignorance

If I was young still

I may even pass the litmus

And be free from all concerns that escape my reason

But I am not

And I let what I cannot change be

With good grace

Humility is mine for keeping

I learned my lesson well

I can be nothing less

the ignorance of youth

I would like to make a discourse on the humanity of the modern age
We are born small and weak, stupid and ignorant, powerless and demanding
And throughout all of this we remain young enough to claim superiority
Yet we remain blissfully unaware of the methods of the earth we live upon
The ignorance of the youth represents not being born innocent but stupid
You and I are born as children, stupid and ignorant of the world we inhabit
We grow within the stupidity of the world around us, held hostage to our parents’ mistakes
Then without knowledge, we grow tall without taking heed to learn what the world wants to offer us
Forevermore forgiven for our ignorance, we continue to grow in spite of our understanding
That the world we inhabit is without sin, for that is only our own morality
As ignorant and stupid as the people we sought to be as children
The maker of this place has a lot to answer for
And I rest my knowledge with the devil himself
For it is he who represents learning, understanding and knowledge
God represents blind faith
Or damned ignorance of all we know
We should know better
But the blind man knows nothing he cannot sense for himself
I may acknowledge my weakness to demand satisfaction
But never will I know what it is
That makes this world turn…

the Devil's work

f'iend's of favour
we were raised
in the same neighbourhood
went to the same schools as each other
and shared the same values.
as terrible as it may be
i found trust and laughter,
sound advice
and a beating heart
in the words of the one Devil, i knew so well.
we, together, related by the family name
spoke openly and honestly
about our expectations of each other
even when our passion for indecent behavior
was enmeshed in a squabble,
over who was in the wrong
i knew he could not harm me...
and now i know,
Death has become the two of Us.
and I, like the Devil i knew so well
am guilty
of all our Sins.

happy new year!

happiness has reached me
in the year 2011
my love has lasted
and i feel some passion
my mistakes,
have been corrected.
and you know i couldn't beat it
this year i am going to shine
i've money and a flat
a car and keys
and a group of new friends besides.
my father is paying attention
and my mother understands me
my sister's and brother's
for the love of another
want to join me in my plans
so don't blow it, Shaney Baby
on some wild gamble and throw a fit
if something changes
in the palm of your hand
are the tools to change your fate.