Monday 31 January 2011

leave me my saviour


When will the times I have missed
Come to visit me in this era of listlessness and rage
I would forget another chance to make amends
Forgiven all I have lost
And lonely
For a way forward out of the dark of solitude
I remember the face
But not the love
Nonce is the name of my ego
To punish myself with its meaning
Is not to say I am evil
Just isolated from those experiences
Of the people surrounding me
And an attempt to catch up

Where art thou’
Deity I swore
Love? I don’t believe it
Should I wait a little longer?
Try harder?
Maybe lynch myself in the hall?
Take one from the street?
The pressure I am under
Makes me an evil man
For it is you I swore
No other
I shall wait eagerly for your sign
Or no more…

I am sorry my Lord
I have found your wit in envy
And apologise for my escape from the fold
I will return in haste to where sanctuary lies
To be at your call
Should you need a voice
Or a friend
Or another man to do your bidding
Thanks for the joke
It got me an accolade!
I will remember the times we spent
Forging a path for others to follow
A boy grown a man...

1 comment:

  1. an old rant about my loneliness in 2007. i think it is quite provocative and personal to think of oneself this way and not know how to deal with your feelings of disappointment and humiliation when you realize your isolation from those that surround you. oh well, guess its just another broken heart and there is nothing to gain from beating myself up for it. what i can say is that in the past 3 years i have learned from my experiences as i grew older...

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