11 years and still on the road

11 years have passed
and i have
started to believe in
all that i can't
accept or control,
will no longer decieve me.
day begin and end
as always
without purpose or confusion
i read my books,
and study as much
the reality of this illusion
called mental illness.
it's humiliating at best
but i am innocent of all charges
so i proclaim and protest
that the crime's so confusing
i am convicted of faults
that are not my own volition
if there ever were a God
i want to hear his judgement.