from the bowels of the earth: late summertime, for you...

a battlefield has fallen
there's no trouble too demanding
the war of my heart,
and my faith in God
has vanquished all of my enemies
the weapons and bullets
lay scattered around
like shells on a beach
of a desert shoreline
and the very souls of my comrades
their loves and labours,
are buried beneath the rifles they fought with
and to look above the desolation,
past the horizion of my eye
i could murder the earth
for late summertime
charcoal smudged clouds
sail across the heavens
appearing as a silhouette
of some glorious mountain
and the breasts of natures kindness'
blooms, in the bush -
the song of the thrush and call of the dove
and i pray that love is golden
for all's i asked is that i can hold you
i've a peace in my heart
and a confidence that soars
when i think of my happiness
your love.

a black and blue heart

my love - it should not fail me
my heart yearns to come with you
to enjoy the rapturous ecstasy
of making love with a passion that's true.
but sweetheart, i'm in solitary confinement!
rattling my chains i scream for justice
my straitjacket holds me in crippling shame
can't you release the binds that hold me?
can you help to rescue a confused and lonely,
man - whose soul's desire
is to be released from his burden
i am a hostage to fortune!
some woman - she murdered me, Lover!
and abandoned me here to hurt you
my pityful remains are just flesh on bone
i'm lost, alone, vanquished by some,
false love -
whose heart was a slaughter!

nihilism, porn and me

'i do not know...'
what the truth of the matter is
all's i can concieve of
is that the doctrine of nihilism
has served the day
in the modern world i know
i have no recollection
of such imperial knowledge
maybe Prince's and their counsel
have all they wished for
could it be that Ministers
of religion,
have witnessed an apocolypse?
of all that was sacred
the joy of love's delight
is a dish served through cyberspace
a prostitutes' filthy crimes,
and yet, she seems such a beautiful creature!
her naked breasts caress the screen
i could imagine dropping by
to rape her of her innocence
and a wealth of other earthly delights!
but, be true to me my neighbour
my friend! can you believe
that the woman you love
with all your heart
is just some slut from another country?

i called out loud

hello, my sweetheart
can you spend a minute with me?
i often feel your love
as a gentle sensation,
of happiness and bliss
such wonder in my heart!
brings me euphoria
with each thought of you
your heart i can truely trust.
with the two and fro'
of the tides of passion
helps me understand
the reverence of our Lord -
Jesus Christ.
and i have his gospel to thank...
as there's no great gains
i'm not going anywhere
unless you are confident of your faith
and hope and trust - play there part
there are no worldly forces
for the good of us.
humankinds' nihilism
mankinds' glorious cause
damns the cherishing of
a beautiful heart
whose dearest dream
is sacred to God
i speak of Christs' resurrection.
i may have doubted
derided and disappointed
all of those faithful flock
but your intimacy with me
is all i can concieve to be
as a promise of
a lifetime of love.

an only child

i have faith in love
i hope you can hear me
can you send my kisses back
i need your loving,
i have held my breath
for 6 months and counting
i've slung my cards on the table
and done deals aplenty...
but my future!
can't you see me?
my heart calls out in the wilderness
i beg of you, beauty!
comfort me in my loneliness
i'm confident of our passion
a 6th sense beats the rhythm
and when i'm with you -
sweetheart,
it's not my heart that's hidden
it's the ghosts of my past
and shadows creeping in the dark
a loud scream for help
in the middle of the night
and an evil monster
whose determined to kill me
so, should you love me
someday, darling -
you know my mind - i'm yours
we could be reunited
as man and wife
and conceive a child that's ours'.

confidence in faith

in the early days
of my troubled youth
i swore in love above all things
though my words were uncouth
my adolescence,
for all it was worth
was a challenging time
when we shared tough words
we argued about lies
and female drives
phantom skeletons
rattling inside
the familes' closets
eternal chains of plenty
the ghost of Hitler
visited frequently
the Holy Fathers' insistence
that we honour no others'
other than limp wristed politicians
and deadbeat Christians
drug den parties
and the rapture of all children
honouring your mother
and father, well...
committing yourself
to education
and dreaming of some
distant promise
that the day will come
when you're confident
you're a Christian

riddled with lies

a confident word of caution
is all i need from you
a promise to be kept
shun humiliation and abuse
but can i trust you?
is there some secret agenda?
does our relationship have juice
to spare for a neighbour?
the spirit is in me
to share all i have gained
to give of myself a commitment
should you defend my claim
to be the man employed
who wrote these words to you
expressing all my dearest joys
and never forsaking the Lord
there's still much to be proffered
and much more pain
the agony of suffering
the beauty of shame
i often cuss, spit and scream
i tear the walls down
hoping no one can hear me
but my words carry for miles
on the breeze of smoking chimley stacks
suffocating on the fumes
of a 60 a day habit.

when we meet

the future i would wish for
well, you know how the story goes -
i swear i need love
and to be held
by those,
who harmed me in this life
i need their forgiveness
and then i ask, please
will you offer me freedom?
i so dearly wish
to leave here someday
and to be thrown to the wind
a religious analogy
i'm a child of Christ
and a prisoner of fortune
grant me one miracle
that i will overcome
my experience
of drug, dog days
and domestic violence
unwanted children
and paedophile news stories
threats to my safety
and the selfishness of money
hostile words
of jealousy and betrayal
and pray for me
should you have a sound heart
i'll find safety in love
when i finally find her.

difficult puzzle

sweet night air
washed out highway
traffic rumbles on through
on - route,
to their destination
i sit here asking
for my friend to comfort me
he begs of my questions
while the evenings' rain
silently,
showers the car park
beneath my apartment
sometimes my loneliness
is palpable
like the quiet of the ocean
sore misery for my loss
is the gain of some other
there remains a beat of my heart
that wishes for the touch
of a lover
but few friends can help
someone stuck - as i am
the truth is the heart lost
it was not a conundrum.

the eldest daughter

beautiful blonde, smiling at me
dressed to stun the traffic
its probably her wedding day
little red starbug,
and a flowing kafthan coat
wish she was mine to have and hold
she's as dreamy as my hopes
all i could want in this life
ripped jeans,
and blue coat blouse
bright pearly whites
and laquered nails
and fluffy socks and boots
i see there's no ring on your finger
but is that a child right by your side
and expectant mother - well maybe -
and i couldn't help but smile
for the happiness inside
made me take a second look,
no, a third or fourteenth
glance,
before the thought sank in
and grew on me
and passion burnt in my hands
you look suspiciously
like my wife and bride to be
the eldest sweetheart of the family
a missed opportunity.
in the mail order catalogue
i would have thought your heart was mine
blonde flowing locks and blue eyed sky
with a child right by your side
but this beautiful blonde, smiling at me
was dressed to stun the traffic
and it was probably her wedding day...

a political engagement

great loves' of history
i understand your fancy
to be downtrodden at heart
and to believe in love's ecstasy
the chase of the romantic fool
is always in folly
not stopping to see the danger
in their love affair
with beauty
crossed wires, burdens of plenty
angry words
and the concerns of children
money, greed, betrayal, avarice
never hesitating to ask for charity
the dream they could be the
one love,
that has hidden
all their fame and fortune
when the gaolers' break
the spirit of young men
whose family have kept
them waiting
then politics will ensure
there are tough laws
to deal with such
romantic fools
and to those whose joy
have given them everything they need
we sentence them to marry -
for children.

maturity

there was some to be had
i guess it was not wasted
you visit sometimes
and check up on me
i'm not disappointed
with what i had
it was my own to grasp
and i'm glad i have
shared my thoughts with you
i was not trying to deceive
i would have begged you a favour
for a small promise
please don't harm
the sound nature of my heart
my feelings are true
and i'm honest when i rhyme
i'm not the type of lover
whose poetry is a fiction
i like reminiscing about the time
when we shared so much passion
so, my story is certain -
there's really nothing to it
i'm just a crack of the whip
and getting on with living
and next time i fancy
that i am safe
to make a great love
i will think about becoming
a parent, myself.

you love me

my thoughts are with
my friends
and the good times
we shared
passing traffic
reveals the secret
of all the lessons
i ever learned
i take too many
for granted
and dismiss the remainder
with cuss-ed words
i too soon judge
and bear financial
grudges,
when i should celebrate
all our woes.
my focus is love
and oftentime i ignore
the help they have offered
there's no question
i have -
drawn a line in the sand
and requested the spirits join me
i find comfort
when we gather together
and i know that you love me.

natalie imbruglia

grand plans
for the future
of my dreams
constant reminders
of broken promises
must i break
with my past?
and tempt my fortune
should my hope
turn to doubt
and ruin my passion?
sometimes i believe
that i deserve better -
i was born to a billionaire
not an asphalt laying shirker
but i take stock of my luck
and resolve to change
i'm reaching for ecstasy
and i'm not ashamed
there are so many more joy's
to be had in this lifetime
and i ask why i can't be
natalie imbruglia's
husband.

the truth of the matter

the heart of the matter
well, its still in my hands
i beat and smoke
dreaming of a vagabond
a perfect creature
much like yourself
a fantastic portrayal
of feminine beauty
i've heard people cuss,
complain -
and criticise
but they don't see
the spiritual truth
that everybody loves
- pornography -
images of the greatest fuck
the world could imagine
in this lifetime
i'd give all my billions
and the remaining
beats of my heart
to be the lucky guy,
who actually got it!

sex and commitment

by the end of my life
i'm probably broke
yet trapped in a priceless
manipulative love,
i've had so much rejection
in my relationships'
and still i can't communicate
where the promise
of love is...
my muse i manipulate
with timbre and emjamblement
a fresh start for the good of me,
and my wishes are granted
and though the power is not with me
to utter romantic words
of the spirit's will and blessing
i can listen for a sound
and keep all eyes peeled
like a trapdoor spider
an old lady whose dining out
on the runt of the litter
that good for nothing - Son of a Gun,
well, i apologise for my trespass
i had made no judgements
so, if you could be me - true -
then think of yourself!
after all its not me suffering
i was just suggesting we fuck...
i've communicated all my hopes and dreams
and chopped and changed
backstabbing friends,
and all the while i have wondered -
- and waited,
if you're calling me back
Faith's perfect stranger?

the chorus

the truth of the matter
well, she's visited before
stink of skunk
and unwashed clothes
the love i have known
is a trussed up bird
a gentle spirit
whose heart is a book
can't avoid being known
for my strange intuitions
but darling i promise
you'll feel no inhibition
i'm a rocking roller -
and no beat can change that
i've had your heart
from a long way back
manipulate my senses
stir up my love
strike up the band
and sing the chorus
there's got to be
something to believe in
if love's why i'm here
then for sure i'll achieve it.

so, when i'm sound of mind
and relaxed as a tree
just tell me your happy
to be with me.

top of the class

colluding with thieves
and criminal gangs
courtroom dramas
about murder conspiracies
drugs and pornography
greed, avarice,
totalitarian regimes
and despotic gentlemen
good people who watch
the passing traffic
begging in town for a crust
of a sandwich
and seeking the truth!
about the world inhabited by our minds'
knowing the heart of a beautiful wife
talk of children, when we meet
confusion about my role in this
gateway's closing behind with a slam
the future of my heart
weighs in the balance.
Lord please help me!
i beg of you the truth
rest my hearts' volition
the couple have no right to accuse
i have no need to regret this
i am more than certain i haven't lied
so rest my pityful condition
i don't deserve to die.

totally free

the last word from me
is i am now 32
born in 1980
i am as old as you
relationships are fascinating
they are so crazy,
and free -
a roller coaster of passion
animal attraction
a piece of the action
needs imagination and care
and lots of care,
- before love gets you there -
does a heartbeat fail
for all it does not have?
can i possibly convince you
the soul seeks only love
the truth of the matter
is i've got to move on
because its happiness
i'm seeking,
not debt and mortgages
i'll let my heart take me places
i could have never of conceived
if i had not promised you
total belief.

jealousy

16 diamonds
set in precious metal
a love and a staff
frozen snow crystals
a psychic reading
about the love of us both
with a critical tongue
and a clear vendetta salute
Lord Haw Haw, i suppose
the comedian of war -
precious wit and lies told
to bully and scare
i may be pushing my luck
right now,
in this relationship
but i need to know
are we both in it?
i know i'm sexually phobic
and brought low by children
i'm lazy and indolent
and stink like a lizard
but if you could give
to me girlfriend,
the one thing i haven't
ever had in my life
then please take care
and always hold onto me
maybe we can escape
from this town's
jealousy.

a fitting end

it's nearly the end
of a 2 year journey
exploring the truths
of relationships with
neighbours,
there's a lot of mixed messages
and furtive movements
threats to the safety
of my tenancy agreement
wishes float like petals
on a body of clear fresh water
children playing in the street
cause me to consider surrender
the shock of the heart!
and if i can't trust you -
Faith,
then what more may i ask
of a beautiful date?
maybe its a joke
when i think sometimes,
of you as my woman - be good girlfriend
i don't mean to shock
the heart, for my loss
in every word i promise
i only want love
though there's a crack going round
you're stalking me honey
i get crank calls in the evening from a mystery caller
and i don't want to ask
for something you can't give -
- so just love me crazy honey -
you're the perfect psy - chic.

supplication

she's making me wait
for a chance to win her
i could shake, rattle and roll
for another opinion
but i don't need
no nay - saying wing man
i could have it my way
if it weren't for religion.
porn, lazy days,
dates with my nurse
reading the papers -
perverse acts of abuse
erotic fantasies - a delight!
played out in my dreams
bad blood between friends
and jailbirds' sentenced
sometimes i think
there's someone getting at me
and i can't understand
why people think i'm guilty
but we all move on
for the best i am told
history need not repeat
the lessons of youre
family problems
and the shock of children,
desperation for money
and the God delusion.

cheating f'iends

bad friends
and thieving bastards
fickle women
and getting shafted
smackhead wankers
my heart bleeds
i cannot help but feel cheated
out of all i've achieved
i work hard as i can
at my chosen profession
i develop my talents
as i practice them
i commit my heart
to those who support me
i refuse to let them
cheat me this way
it makes me angry
just to think
that someone so close
could expect of me
that to set themselves up
at alms with me
so they can indulge
their own jealousy.

the holy ghost

have faith in your heart
for the day to come
when your belief in God
becomes your religion
some miraculous event
saves your life
and holds you up
to a blinding white light
behold!
there is one amongst us
whose deeds are profound
he speaks of angelic beings
without seeming confused
has your true heart
forsaken you
for want of some trinket?
is your love so proud
it has betrayed your witness?
can you conceive of an earth
that belongs to the Lord?
where the schemes
of spoilt children
are dealt with
according to His law
well, i know this much
i won't be the first
to claim to be visited
by the spirit of Jesus.

her big night out

i beg of you
sweet heart of mind
scent of peaches
and sky blue eyes
i thought we may have
gotten it together
and made our words
a beautiful
piece of heaven,
i want to know you
and talk about our love
i need you to give me
all you have to possess
i would suffer to save you
and spirit you away
from the encroaching tide
of modern society
i do believe we have
a sense of mind
that knows when either
of us two, are lying
my heart feels faint
and i'm troubled at heart
where are you my heartbreak
do i deserve to be harmed?
is my standard of loving
a disappointing event
have i reason to regret
suggesting this?

lindsey lo'han's

a hand and a glove
lindsey lohans love
i've been beating a gun
with a broken drum
so i thought of our conversations
i practised my patience
and decided to offer
a commitment to you.
i've bought the ring -
a stupid thing,
sentimentality is a mistake -
i can't give you my hand
or the world of my mind
because you would cheat,
humiliate and ruin me.
God promised me as a child
that love was the law
and you should practise your passion,
behind closed doors
so beat me if i embarrass you
in front of your friends
my body is yours -
just use your hands.

save one for me (blue saturday)

its been a lonely old day
and i'm blue for the joy
i held in my heart
for the one that i love
i can't understand why
my dream can't come true
have i betrayed a sullen heart
for its thoughts of you?
i was promised
as a young man
that the law of God
was profound -
so why on earth must i suffer
like i have been lost
and not found?
please my lover - beseech me,
have you another heart to please?
can't you be true
and give your love to me
i'm horrified that you can't understand
that i've been victimised and beaten
because not one soul believes in the diety
whose spoken words of love are golden
i beg of you my sweetheart
can't you be a friend to me
and always think that when we speak
you will save your love for me.

special branch

the real shit on life
as a modern man will know
is that politics stinks
and the economy's a pig
of a charity case on the rob -
your drugs are like medication
and sex is all about your future children
and your parents' wouldn't know
what you've been through
because they're determined to deceive you -
into following through
with their future plans,
but that's not all -if you've known the law -
then know whose team you're on -
you could well be a criminal
but your wing man may be sabotaging you
into playing your cards to scotland yard.

on the wings of a Kunt

after many years of witnessing abuse
i changed my ways and stopping slinging shit
i manipulated the lines of prose and rhyme
to suit my plans - i ruined that bitch
for such a long time i forgot to ask
about the signs and signals sent by love
for a courting couple - you need to believe
a proper relationships' not one i suffer in gracious grief
so this time, i'll wise up and get a grip - for good
there's got to be a future in this game of catch up
for the love of the pair of us - is something beautiful
i don't often experience such wonder - though the sensation is real
i'm not some delusional crazy with a belief in what's irrational -
though i've heard some incredibly beastly perversions, satisfied
so, shouldn't we give our love  a chance and let it fly to the heavens
on the wings of a pigeon englishmans' wishes.

asthmatic spastic

crazy love
that gentle sensation
in the hollow of my chest
captures your beauty
in a still life frieze
and holds on to its breath
a million beatings
a relationship with feelings
is not something i often experience
so caress my haste
laugh at my faith
and share my joy
like we're a pair of angels
i've always thought a lover
who could capture on to my heart forever,
could take a snapshot of my love for you
so i would like you to show me
that you can control me
and manipulate my every breath

hangover

spent the night
getting wankered
with me mate
his bird was downstairs
having an Ann Summers
party,
i was drinking and chillin'
eating berries from the vine
my buddy was smoking
fat, blunt havanna's
and playing jim rummy
with me.
outside, the rain - its pouring
a fine shower in the darkness
the hush of the motorway
calms the heartbeat
and i sit and ponder why?
did i ever try to believe
in a glorious fantasy
as two hearts that have one mind.

career criminal

anxiety seizes
the heart of my soul
worries remind me
i've got to get on
with creating another
life, much like my own
i must discover for myself
what it is to be loved
and then - there's the gangs
of a hostile nature
demanding i sell drugs
for their greater
asunder,
but i'm not one
for giving up on life
i plan to rebell
and change my fate
i have no plans
to become a criminal
i don't want to spend
my life in a prison cell
i'm getting an education
and i hope to have a future
as a literary wizard
or a country singer.

outrage WWIII

a million evil cancer sticks
a cough that won't cure
a ropey geezer
whose throat weezes
like he's swallowed his tongue
18 years of smoking these
bloody blue minded
joints,
i choke on my breath
cancer must have given up
on wishing for this day to come
but i couldn't care less
if i have to offend
the populace of this nation
it fucking stinks!
what politics thinks,
is to champion a smelly fanny.
it's sorry to tell
the loved ones you know
what to say to those
who's unrelenting force
to settle some score
has become a bloody minded
outrage.

pot luck - 2, 4, 8, 12, 19, 32

like many a fickle harlot
the girl we remembered from childhood
Julie was well thought of
as the beauty of our youth
whose charm doesn't fade
forever etched into copperplate
upon our wicked schemes
of long, late nights -
- hooch and banknotes
we gave our hearts'
to the town we loved
and it caught our favour
by allowing us to live!
oh, blessed Joy!
but then,
is that the door i hear?
a shriek of terror pierces the night air
and the sound of feathers
preened and dusted
coo, coo's at the window
we didn't deserve to lose
so many of our loved ones
not to the schemes of our fathers' footnotes
bad blood in the pot,
and being shortchanged at the till,
young ladies at the bar - would beggar you have it?
and the blag cafhy y' bangor
we did believe in you
and you were as good as any other
but we are being gently reminded
that for our own gravesend,
the loss will pierce all our hearts'
just to think -
- it could be us joining you there...

greet the day i see you

should i give it my heart
and reverse the future
throughout my life
there has been some challenge
where i must step up
and throw in my hat
raise my voice
and demand that i fight
for those beliefs i had
and the visions of myself
the dark - humoured super hero
who's love was granted
the moment i caught sight
of your emerald blue
eyes, of a dove -
- i thought to myself
of the heavens above
the heat of the sun
the softness of clouds
the contrast between
the earth -
- and the sky,
the city raises its profile
each morning at five
when i am waking myself
and i can hear your call.

night terrors

constant anxiety
gripping me fast
suffocating the very
heart in my chest
i have these fears
that hold me
behind, the fire door of my flat
i creep out silently
to escape,
this claustrophobic
sense of guilt
that i have some error
i should regret
for writing these words
as a lament
for all i have known
this is my life
i have the freedom
and liberty
to do as i please
but no one would ever like me
for thinking this...

rockstar

memories of a sensation
and a beautiful girl
a strange compulsion
to give this meaning
if its my head
and my heart,
then how could it
deceive me?
is there some drama
i missed,
when i was busy complaining?
'cause all i know is
this story can't sustain love
i can't think how or
why,
i fail to know how -
to be endearing to others'
then i must become
famous,
i often claim to be
a star of old
some forgotten old hippie
who once was a
rockstar.

a massage of the heart

i often wonder
about the truth of my mind
can i believe what i think?
is my perception sublime,
there's many thoughts of injustice
that creep up and worry me
my heart suffocates in a rapture of jealousy
i could swear that someone told me
when i was a young man
that our God is good - and would not harm you
but something evil waits in the streets
a tiger is loose and a dragon is sick
for the love of me is pityful
i am ashamed of my body
please don't show yours - it shows my inadequacy
hide and guard your jealousy well,
there's no better lover than me and myself
people tear at me
and humiliate my my confidence
what God would allow the abuse i conceive of?
there's stranger prose than this to explain my concern
but sometimes i believe that
something is wrong in this world.
innocence and knowledge, sex and commitment -
they can't co - exist without permanent damage
to the faith, joy and happiness of anyones' soul
it just makes it harder to understand who you are
maybe people get married to solve the frustration
of always being the damned, bloody minded wastrel
who wishes they knew better than to love
a beautiful liar,
who doesn't need you.

EcTC

blessed by a friend
who possessed the sacrament
of joyous celebration
and feverish ecstacy
joined by a common cause
and a hand of cards
two honest conversations
about the privation
of our thoughts
and a love birds' spirit
captured,
in the hollow of my heart
an epic story of faith
in a convict's
cause,
for the desperation
of his rebellion
was loves' golden promise
somewhat sweet and posey
a gentle stroke of a petal
by the fruit left hanging
too close to the honey bee
blossom on the branch
i feel the ecstacy
of coming into love
there's something giving way
i can feel my sense in motion
today is a good day.

the virgin isle

all's i wanted was a night out
i prayed and waited patiently
for a fair lady to come
but the evening was a catastrophe
i spent the evening broke
i stole some money from the monolith
the illustrious ancestors tomb
but of the worst - it did not come
i surprised myself with what i had done
my life had lined itself up - ducks in a row
with a relationship, i had always dreamed
of the Virgin Isle
i enjoyed some peace of mind
and i was entralled with joy
i could not wish for a greater reflection
other than Christ's resurrection
for my own life - a disaster
metaphorically,
i was waiting for the money to arrive
i suppose high in heaven,
or far below,
in the bowls of history
they're drinking for the good
of mankind and and their fruitful bough
within the borders of our nation
i know Christians well!

stay indoors

the view out of my window
over the black tarmac
my sights raise higher
to the smoking chimney stacks
the grey industrial wastelands
far past the motorway
the weather pours down a sheet
of cold, acid rain.
my mood is something to be behold
i often feel the sorrow of the world
and when i am here,
alone in my flat
its like i can hear the silence talk
there are personalities calling out to me
people i loved and lost
the disembodied ghosts
of a thousand greatful hosts
who entertained me for want of friends.
and though its quiet up here,
in my apartment block
the hiss of white noise
is still audible
the rain's still falling,
silently it pours
while the world quietly eats
and stays indoors.

balam's donkey

i met a young lady
and set a date
for us to be together
and by a cruel twist of fate
i was hunted down
by the authority of state
to be incarcerated
in a psychiatric ward
for the charge of rape!
now, i ain't concerned
about a date's fidelity
but i ain't no criminal
or opportunist pedophile
i am innocent,
i protested for so many years
but my cries aren't heard
by those who keep me here
one day, i plan
to bust my way out of here
and tear down the edifice
of this civilised society
this country's a beast
a worthless prick
i pray it gets what's coming to it
for blaming me for this...

bjorn again

wrong turn
wrong number
turn about face
wild crazy fantasy
i found a special place
i was greeted
at the door
by a smiling woman
who took me inside
and showed me
loving,
then i leave to return
to the home i am
fond of
that happy place
i once resided
where i was taken care of.
and when i take a look
around me
i haven't left -
but i have returned
to the heart
that did the loving
way, way back
when i was born.

yenta

i believed in God
and Christ's resurrection
i professed i did love
with sweet,
honey - suckle perfection
yet, my yenta
was a fair lady
with azure blue eyes
who took all my loving
and using a disguise
betrayed and berated me
for loving her dearly
the shame of my name
is enough to move me
to write these honest
words to you
i sometimes think
you have a secret
porn studio,
'cause a boy like me
can't travel too far
without a friend of sorts
to accompany his thoughts
only i didn't come quick
i believe you're an honest woman
i can trust your words
you're a whore
and i love it!

don't let the bastards grind you down

i reside at the palace
i call my home
my chest aches
my dick hurts
i come too soon
i remind myself
of a loser
i know too well
in my childhood
i was the victim
of a cruel betrayal
so, if i'm gay -
then hit me won't you
a soggy bottom
is something i can hide
and if my breath
stinks so bad you vomit
then maybe you'd like
to talk to my backside
but if there's something
i have forgotten
or been cheated from
at last,
then please won't you
ignore me
while i fucking laugh my arse off!

a religious sacrifice

there was a better man
who's words were truth and honesty
but then he had neglected
to be suspected
for the integrity of his love

the baby Jesus
even though i admire him
has made just one mistake
you can't make a life
from betrayals of trust
and believe in his legacy today

its not just, that he has a voice
that carries his ideals around the world
but that we can't deny that his words
are of those who brought us up

so i ask of the Lord
'tell me stranger -
is it you who's let me down?'
only you promise so many things
i do believe in,
that my heart can only confound

you taught me all i happen to know
so let me teach you a lesson of my own
you're off to the tip to sit on a mountain of shit
and dwell upon the dark

after i've kicked you around the room a few times
to teach you that you can't afford to let people down!

mourning dove

i am aggrieved for the loss
of the hope i did have
i believed in the joy
of a love that would last
but again i am a fool
someone who has faith
a pitiful loser
whose God is a joke
i sit here depressed
thinking of all my failures
the dreams i did have
for the future of my relationship
there was once a friend
who wished i would win
the heart of another
so that he may be triumphant
but the truth is i'm a pity
for my loved ones that remain
they all hide their faces
from my demands to be saved
you're a prick!
you're an idiot!
who on earth would want you?
these are the words
of those that accuse
me of being to blame for my loss
'the young fool believes his psychiatrist
has a sacred heart!'

2 faced coin

i have made many friends
and throughout my life
i have stood back
from the situations
that beggar belief
frustration, castration
perverse acts of abuse
i have even found in me
the sense to accuse
a touch of flesh
or a comforting hand
embrace me in kind
but felt hounded down
but then,
i have to stop you there
how dare you assault me!
maybe you take kindly
to fingering
your arsehole
so get the fuck
off my case
i have told you before
i owe you nothing
not even a coin.

true to me

the love i have made
for the one i am fond of
that beautiful woman
who's heart i dream of
she's disappeared
gone away
i cannot find
her heartbeat today
have i been forgotten
or is it time to change
the ways of my fantasies
so she may
join me again
i don't know
but i am sure to be asking
if there was ever a chance
of us two
eloping
there's so many fears
i have already had
for the love of me -
- i beseech you
won't you be true to me?

ignored

there's little joy
in my life
right now, in this world
i have faithfully
stayed committed
to the truth of my heart

i'm not contrite
or praying selfishly
for some taste
of euphoria
i just wish to be happy

should my heart
be deceptive
and my mind diseased
cannot i be
totally at peace
with this world
as it is

should my anger cause me
to shout out loud
or the horror of politics
bring me down
then what may i ask for
when talking of love?

am i deluded and stupid?
or just being ignored?

my peace of mind

hope is just a crystal
of sweetness, lost
to the reality of the world
where everything costs
nothing is mine
to have or to hold
all of my enemies
have a claim
to my Soul
i've never had
something of my own
i must share my heart
with those who hope
that there will come a day
when i lose my faith
in someone wanting me
and i'll have no money left
why do so many people
think of me as a fool?
is there no value
in the hearts' wishes to be removed
from a place of conflict
to a position of strength
where i know
i am needed by someone
and my joy is blessed.

failed romance #3

i was just reaching out
for some touch of grace
a chance to redeem myself
and change my fate
there's so much happening
in a world of which
i have no knowledge
people accuse and cheat
me, of every mortal
beat of my chest
i writhe in agony
because of my breathlessness
my lips carry words
i cannot heed
there is so much anger
inside of me
can i tell whom i dream of?
am i a fool for asking?
why on earth do females
mock my infatuation?
i thought we were
a couple of sorts
but again it would seem
i am just deluding myself

- for even daring to pass a glance...

vampyre love

just a gentle fall
from the roof of the mouth
my greatest happiness
is to be in flight
my intuitive radar
could sense you're doubting
if i was a real man
or a handsome stranger
i fly by night
you may hear my shrieks
throught the silent,
still air
you hide your eyes from me
and i return to the safety
and dark of my cave
remaining confident
in the knowledge
that something so strange
as your heart to beat,
in the heat of the sun
i must rest soundly
from my own ceiling
can you spare me a pulse?
in the heat of our passion
our sexual energy is writhe
and a lustful blood attraction.

the most beautiful thing

sometimes i think
i remember a time
when i was driven
into danger
by some old friends
of mine
but the stranger truth is
i was on my way home
when i encountered some trouble
with a shout -
She accused -
me of being
devoted in love
i felt i had something
to regret,
She was a perilous woman
my hearts' affliction
it had always seemed
i give the best of my heart
to the one who loves me
but my jealousy
was not for the man
who cheated me
but for my beloved heart
who's love was easy
i freely give of myself
and all i have
yet sometimes i'm afraid
i'm not your only man
and so, again - i give to you
each racing beat of my heart
with my passion i indulge you
till i hold you in my arms.

dead heart

shallow pursuits
of power and wealth
abuses of trust
and horrifying injustice
these are the values
of the modern world
cheating, lying
and bringing them down.
some people are so selfish
they don't stop to think
of the tears they cause
their loved ones to shed
i read it in the paper
every goddamned day
i witnessed it myself
in some other relationship
and yet the world continues
to spiral on down
without the heart of a good man
to catch its last sigh.

my only friend

what does my future
have for a man like me
my lifes' a confusing illusion
of cerebral challenges
but its just a double bind
of the rebellious,
amorphus mass -
of selfish, petty villians
who shake the system
and demand
'i am worthy of power!'
'there are no fears in my heart!'
well, some know better than to tell a lie,
because we have witnessed a death...
i can bury the past
upside down
in its grave to be smited
as a crying clown
i love you Jesus!
but i am too weak to pray
i am not Holy
but a chaste fidelity
i have answers and some wisdom,
confidence in faith
i cherish the love
i will always have
for my only wedded wife
but bless me Father for your sacred heart
i have but one request
please don't take another loved one from me
or i sharn't take another breath.

Legion

there was a war in Europe
and the titans clashed
a holocaust of Englishmen
met with their death
to the horror of millions
of hard working citizens
brought low by the deceit
of the executive government
some time during the offing
i was hit hard on the head
and remained in a coma
for 365 times 10
and while my wife continued
to raise our small children
i slept and dreamt of all that was happening
and then when i awoke
and regained my faculties
i took in the confusion
of this decimated society
our children are fatherless!
and not one woman has a husband!
doctors and lawyers are organised criminals!
the Lord's in their opulence
are nothing more than a committee
the Common's by contrast
are a bunch of school children
this i have witnessed
the horror of it all -
in the hour of a looking glass
and then when i turn,
to my memories of the world
that i was so keen to embrace back then
i say of our Lord -
'Das macht nichts, ich verstehe Legion?'

take me away

the love i need
should be here to stay
but there's something wrong
she's taken it away
you know my needs
i hope you feel the same
i capture your spirit
in the palm of my hand
but with each passing breath
and beat of my heart
i know you're missing
my love, sweetheart -

and maybe you're just
another hot date
with another man waiting
for your words patiently
silently i cannot help
but accuse myself
of being a foolish, wimpish, wanker
with a huge dong
and a dose of distemper
and excluding myself
i have nothing more
than some empty words
and a heart that will humour.

a loving jar - full

pickled onions
once sweet to taste
have turned bitter
and the jar
has gone to waste
love's nature, i guess
is to preserve what's good
and practise lifting the spoon
from the jar
to the mouth,
i find peace sometimes
in my solitary pursuits
literature, poetry
and eating pickled produce
and something i have always
been keen to practise
is to love your spirit
as a tasty titbit
so if your preserve
is too rotten
to be enjoyed any longer
then take faith in your heart
that there'll soon be another
but like the proverbial
pickles, rotting in the jar
or the beats of your rhyme
and rhythm of the heart
they'll only keep for so many months
before you'll be thinking of replacing
your pickled produce.

a trifling downfall ;0

eh, sorry for the zeal
i was getting high on Jesus
there's things going wrong
my mind is tortured
by a vision
i had of grievious -
harm to my waking life
i still dream of golden sunrays
blessed by the spirit
i reached for the passion
i had when i was
a young man.

and so,
i made the same mistake
i have always made
a short note to wish you well
i think my proposal was sweet
as i have these needs
and they are the chance
i have to take,
great risks to my safety
are not my thing
but i guess
love's a humbling trifle -

- it's, biscuits,
rum and jelly
cream, custard, fruit
and cherries
a dish to be devoured
as just desserts!

desperation

the truth
about my illness
well, let me tell you
i am horrified
and sickened
by the level of abuse
dished out to me
as a child
because of my parent's
lies,
i am living a nightmare
through crying eyes

my heart
is in terror
my mind grieves
for all i have suffered
i'm being hunted down
by a murderous
crew of nonces
hounded by women
frightened of strangers
assaulted each day
for having faith
in Jesus

and what's
the pissing more
i am angry
that this world fucks
and yet i am to be judged
for waiting
for love
while my life
is in danger
of being abducted and killed
grown adults cheat
young men who hope

they say its my fault
and throughout my life
i've been called a liar
for telling the truth
they say i'm on drugs
and this mental illness
is nothing more
than a scheme to avoid
a day's hard work
well, i'll correct you there
my hands labour all day
and i am a witness

= to all that's been said.

someone else

i'm sorry mum
i didn't mean to shout out
all of my frustration
with my lifes' ridden doubt
all else is just my poems
of the things
we do and love
and the people
who have helped me
and the Lord God above
and i am sorry father
i didn't mean
to hurt your feelings
i know you're alone
and in need
of help
and don't think
i cannot hear you
i really do love you
mum and dad
but like you
i am often sad
because the ones' we love
can't be here with us today
`cause they loved
someone else.

a real mental illness

the horror
of this world at large
rape, abduction and child abuse
the filthy values
of an evil generation
the free press
are akin to the pornographers
they horrify us all
and champion the rape of children
the women of the world
would have us all pay
for their own brand of
entertainment,
as nature would have intended...
i am sure you are quite proud
of your lies and deceit
because you're all smiling
while i am cheated
of each and every beat of my heart
- you suffocate my chest
by stretching yourself out upon me
and treat me to rape whenever you see fit
and then even when i am certain
i am safe to complain
about this media hypocrisy
and that this world
cannot be real
you accuse me of being a liar
`cause i've a mental illness...

plaintiff

reading cards to find out
what's really at stake
in my life there have been conflicts
about who holds the power
over my heart

and changes remind me
of all i can possibly do
with the mind
that moves me to write
these words of honesty

to you,
i give of my effort
and my shoulder
to your burden
but then, in truth
the responsibilities yours'
kidder.

no baker raises anothers' loaf
few farmers stand in the field
a priest is a man
of the Lord
not a drunkered in town

i am a man of letters
and plan to interpret the law
for the one and many of our hearts'
and rule in the favour
of the victim, not the plaintiff.

32

tired of the words of God
i was searching for the truth
i had read to gospel
as handed to me
by a flate mate i used to know

i was looking for honest guidance
on the problems i suffered as a boy
as since i was a small
i have been totally ignored
when i have a crying out loud for help

but i can't find a word of wisdom
nor a sentence containing truth
i guess the Lord
works in mysterious ways
because he seems to excuse himself

he may be a witness to his creation
and to all i have ever fallen upon
but each verse seems to curse me
he wishes to kill me
for all my errors of judgement

so what, pray - tell
can i hope for now
i'm 32 and much, much older
i have given my words
i believe i love, so what's the deal?

                          - hey - father?

the truth (i hope so)

i wish i could sing to you
my sweetest song of all
the one where i win
the heart of another
and reign supreme
throughout the land

the changes taking place
in the human race
would be my story to tell
and the victory of love
above all that's to come
would be as glorious
as Christ's resurrection

forever cherished,
never forgotten
always yours to be true
if only i had Jesus' grace
then maybe i too can be saved
by the truth.

my life, i have, i do

i have a home with a heart
where i enjoy peace of mind
furniture and books
and a precious gold coin
some musical instruments
which i play when i am blue
and a phone to call
all of those i accuse
of so many lies
i am so fond of telling
but i can't explain
that somehow i am hurting
someone i love
cannot be with me
and i don't have what it takes
to be reunited.

the horror of it all

i have to say
before the words escape me again
how horrified i am
with my parents mistakes
they insist i am wrong
about the feelings i have
for those i love
and the enemies who resist
my efforts to engage them
in a real conversation
about the lies they have told
to everyone who knows me
you talk about being 'fair'
well - what's fair about this -
i am so badly damaged
i am incapacitated.
have you ever thought
how cruel you have been
to force me down this path
of hostility
the conclusion is my imprisonment
for being caught in a gang
that has damaged many lives
and spilt blood across the land
and one further point
i have no choice but to prove
what the fuck is the Secretary of State
got to do with my heart?
like he feels how i feel
or even gives a rats ass
he's wealthy and powerful
but has never been asked
to take part in your conspiracy
to do as you ask
i am horrified and humiliated
you deserve nothing more
than to be damned and blast
and mourning for us all.

an extraordinary time - year B

i remind myself frequently
of all of the abuse
i suffered in silence
there's a constant voice
expressing its concerns
each time i recognise
who's lying.
there's too much trouble
waiting for me
just for setting forth
out the door
and the reason's why
i can't decide
except to say that
i am not wrong!

46. the well

the divine nature
of the hearts' changes
rhythm, rhyme
and persistant frustration
the only time
i think i'm happy
these days
is when i am thinking
of your sky blue eyes
so many wise words
and honesty
beat the rhythm
of my heart
bang on the drum
rattle the chains of plenty
and throw the trash out in the yard
`cause i'm in a gilded cage right now
and no enemy can bring me down
and though i had thought
i had something true to say
the words can't be formed
by my tongue.
so, this is my kiss - for your lips
it's no secret you warm my heart
you're so kind
and i want you to know
the original Theseus
was Lela Starr.

but be warned!
i must have told you
so many times before
there's a tiger in the street
the butlers' a shit
and the elephant stinks
for all it's worth.

the appliance of science ~#:+_}2

there is nothing
so frustrating
than a chance to wretch
i was missing the toilet
and bought an appliance
for my comforts' sake
i told the last one so many times
i that she was scewed
but the thoughts
i had cherished
well, there's my sex
and the washer woman
can't handle my jealousy
it's unfair, they cry!
i have no wife, no children
no scent to call my own -
 - and ridicule!
Ha! - so observant
i guess you believe
every perfume is used to cover
a greater lie to be rinsed from the dogs bed
reeks more than any pour homme i would have had
to beg of another the truth
then no more, i know i stink
if happiness is to be forever elusive
then grant me shame in my words,
dignity in my work
and intelligence in my Beko.

the mourning star a mourning after

the day returning
the evening before
spent alone and mourning
for all the loves i have not
no greater are the speckles of light
above my head
than the wishes i have had for nothing more
than some long missed dream of my youth
that was well spent in the company of strangers
for all of the blessings i craved
the praise,
the shame in dignity
as my mother would quote the Bible
proslytising God's good name...
i imagine she sings loudly,
- 'i lost my Son today - i am ever so proud!'
the Annunciation,
Corpus Christi,
Amazing Grace,
any of the songs of deep reverence
to those forces beyond our worldly thoughts
coming in from the blackest night as worries we cannot solve.
i apologise to those who i couldn't support
i never did forget you either
we just -
we just -
oui je -
well, we just didn't meet the same day
there was no right answer - just a confusion of morals
and my wish to be married!
though to be true,
had i known what it is to be a man of great learning
then i have no idea why i cared so much for one
and not at all for all others!

thought for the day!

every vile dirty creature
each hideous thing that crawls
all stinking things spitting bile
are worthless female scum

polemical reality

the beliefs i had
when i was a young man -
someone will love you
and they can't harm you
your mother and father
will always be there
smoking pot's inconsequential
and no one cares,
- working is easy -
- college is fun -
sex is a natural thing to be done
criminals are punished
and the government cares -
- that you inherit your birthright
and your parents' are yours.
your lifetimes' efforts
will not be in vain
hard work is rewarded
everyones' your friend!
may the good Lord beseech you
for proslytising his name
`cause the world is a witness
to the bad guys' shame!

bring me faith or death!

i was angry to witness
the evil nature
of human kind's plan
the evil ones' stature
hell, Lord above!
i was a witness
to his creation
only to find
there was no devil worse
than his only begotten Son
upon the cross
- had i never read,
the good news of John
or distributed his words
then i would not know
that every letters' a curse
the evil one
is toothless to challenge
the omnipotent power
of an unseen assassin
who'll bring
the whole world to an end
and bless those who discover
that something is wrong
with human nature
and the games
they play,
and then you will know that
'I am the Lord.'

bedwetter

a night out with me Dad
drinking late in some bar
having a word with me `bout women
and a fast motorcar
down to the Wellington
to gather together
friends of 30 years
celebrating there,
wherever
the road takes me
when i wandered untoward
no matter how i cared
i was always in his thoughts
so think of your father
when you remember your luck
`cause you're a persistant bedwetter
before this ugly fuck.

real love

she's still calling
and taking my love
sweet words of caring
professional woman
blonde hair, blue eyes
softly spoken bambi
the greatest love of my life
or a passing fancy?
she calls twice
this month
and we talk of children
and the love of us both
cannot be broken
the words we share
for those who hurt us the most
is a bright beach ball
we play with often
and the love is real!
or is it just me?
i've been riding high on this choppy sea
- today or tomorrow,
maybe i'll still know her well
`cause i'm still offering
her all i have,
to give.

shotgun zealot

for the love of God
don't take a pew
in a Liverpool pub
and talk religion
you'll soon be asked
to remove yourself
vacate your seat
for someone else
`cause the real thing
`bout Liverpoool you see,
is its unacceptable
to believe
in the possibility
that someone greater
than the town council
controls the city
other than gangsters...
...and interpol!

dirty words with you ep

voices in my head communicating with me
pulling me down, doing my head in
they're all supposed lies, or so i am told
i'm a psychiatric patient but i think you're all wrong
in my heart at least i'm in the right mind
to express how i feel about this town of mine
there's nothing at all i cannot stand more
than being bullied to take part and support your cause.
through manipulation, you all demand of me
that i should yield to your fancy
but my hearts' not in it, you're absolute spiel
i'd like to have a dirty word in your ear, pal.
so, should you happen to be concerned
about my moral values -
- why not go get a job!
of all the damned things!
pay your own bills and keep company
with people who respect your incredible ability.
the rest of the story - well you know who you are
a K - night of S - words talking of war
i'm glad you believe in such powerful things
as being the caunce whose having
a nonce at me.

another bum note

stupid lies
from a terrible friend
we were once so close
now you're scaring
me again
did i let you down?
or betray you somehow?
are you jealous -
of my efforts?
can't you do the same
for yourself?
you know what really
annoys me about you?
is the way you manipulate
everything i do -
'me out of money
money out of me,'
you're always pretending
to be someone other
than who you
could be.
so get a fucking life
go and plan your career
because in a few years time
i won't be here,
cause of its something other
than friendship
and goodtimes
then take a chance
on employing yourself
instead of telling me lies!

the common's law wife

mr milliband
the stalwart
of prejudice and falsehood
lies and deceit practised in secret
speeches in the commons
we all know are bogus
attempting to excuse
his love of children
gay men, prostitutes
the frail and infirm
not even the employed
want any work
they should all get a job!
- the workshy claim
Milliband and Cameron
are all much the same
use and abuse them
the economy's fucked
the poor have much to blame -
- on the previous government!
but none of it is my fault!
i speak for a nation!
i was elected by idiots!
now give me my peerage!

friends in high places

dearest friend
high in heaven
please won't you let me know
how to call for a love
sometimes forgotten
by the time i spent
alone,
so many tears
and frightening memories
it's all too plain to see
that should i find
the love's i cherished
i may be
too blind to see.

sex criminal ~#2

i was accused
of being one of them
the horror of the modern world
signed my name
as a criminal
for believing i loved
as i would dream.
the law of the polititians
demands of me
i avoid the children
'cause i'm a threat
to the safety
of their innocence
'but it was not me!'
i protest.
i am an older man
and life's too hard
to cling to the one
i would have sought
they say i am crazy
but i can't believe
that these authorities
have the power over me
to change the beat of my heart
in an instant
i would take my life,
today.
but who may miss me?
i doubt any would grieve
for my love wasn't enough
to make a woman
happy?